So, basically...

to do my job quietly, on my own, with my own ways and values. and continue to be in silence.

it's just like a life sentence for me. and being overly sensitive, is another part of me that I can't stand. it feels like i always have this heavy burden on my shoulders every time. and this is too heart wrenching, making me suicidal since forever. p.s. i miss my mum and dad so much right now!

it's the festive season, but i don't feel like celebrating. i guess, i just wanna die. but i'm not ready for that too. this is really ..... a dilemma.

more specifically, the real life. nowadays, i am just too tired with everything, and i rather stay in my fantasy world.

When you are waiting,  time moves slower than a beaten up snail. When you are the one who cause the others to wait, time moves like a bullet train, and you will feel like the white rabbit in Alice in wonderland.  Unless, you are a VIP and other people's time is irrelevant to you.

my heart is cold forgiveness is light years away i have no regrets...left

nowadays, due to the social medias, everyone wants to become reporters. everyone thinks they need to report something, to EVERYONE! most of the times, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME! SO, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

i know it increases my adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine level to a new height, everytime i feel attracted to someone (or something - like those anime guys, which aren't even real) and i like this since i'm addicted to these love hormones, even when it is just a one-sided, far away, totally unrealistic, crush. but still this is so emotionally draining!

I'll choose the 90's. Because it was the best time for me. And year 2000 onwards are so overrated. I still don't own a flying car. I just got into more problems and more paranoid. Dang!